Separating? Wollongong’s Top Family Lawyers share what you need to know…
Where to start when you are separating? Here’s a separation and divorce checklist from ALG – Wollongong’s trusted family lawyers. It covers what you need to consider when seperating with kids, finances and what you are entitled to.
Here at Parents Guide Illawarra, we help you navigate all stages of family life. The sad reality is that many relationships break down, you are not alone. Getting access to legal advice at this emotional and tumultuous time, is highly recommended.
We were lucky enough to interview Wollongong’s experienced Family Lawyers, Sarah Jobson and Tom Ellicot from ALG. They know that a family law separation will be one of the hardest things that you will experience in your life. So here is what is most important to do when you separate.
First, all families are different and unique. So are all Family Law matters. This separation checklist is a helpful guide of what is important to consider. Please do seek advice from a family lawyer. As the list below may change depending on your personal circumstances.
Separation Checklist: The First Steps To Take
Separation can feel overwhelming, especially when children, finances and the family home are involved. Taking things one step at a time can help you feel more in control and avoid costly mistakes later. Here’s a practical separation checklist to help guide your next steps.
Make Safety Your First Priority
If you or your children are experiencing family violence or you have concerns for your safety, seek urgent help immediately. Contact Police or Illawarra’s support services such as SASSI for domestic violence assistance, emergency accommodation and ongoing support.
If you need to leave the family home and it is safe to do so, try to take important documents with you, including:
- Passports
- Birth certificates
- Marriage certificate
- Financial records
- Bank statements
- Superannuation details
If you’re concerned your former partner may damage the home or belongings, consider taking photographs of the property’s current condition before leaving.
Arrange Advice From a Family Lawyer Early
One of the most important steps after separation is obtaining early legal advice. Speaking with an experienced Wollongong family lawyer helps you understand your rights, avoid common mistakes and make informed decisions about your children, finances and property from the very beginning.
Early advice can often reduce conflict and help you achieve a fair outcome sooner.
Make a List of Your Assets, Debts & Finances
Start gathering information about your financial position, including:
- Bank accounts
- Savings
- Superannuation
- Investments
- Property
- Vehicles
- Loans
- Credit cards
- Mortgage balances
Having a clear picture of your finances will make property settlement discussions much easier and help your lawyer provide tailored advice.
Record Your Separation Date
The official date of separation is an important legal milestone.
If you’re continuing to live under the same roof after separating, keep notes about how your relationship has changed, including:
- Separate sleeping arrangements
- Separate finances
- Changes to household responsibilities
- Changes to your social lives
- Whether you’ve stopped presenting as a couple
These records may become important if your separation date is later questioned.
Decide Where Everyone Will Live
Whether you remain in the family home, rent elsewhere or plan to sell the property, it’s important to seek legal advice before making major financial decisions.
If you hope to keep the family home, speak with your bank or mortgage broker about your borrowing capacity. If the property will be sold, obtain legal advice before dividing the sale proceeds.
If you’re renting, remember to update the lease agreement.
Parenting Arrangements After Separation
If you have children, one of your biggest priorities will be creating parenting arrangements that support their wellbeing and provide stability.
Think about:
- Weekly care arrangements
- School pick-up and drop-off
- School holidays
- Birthdays
- Christmas
- Easter
- Mother’s Day and Father’s Day
- Communication between parents
Depending on your circumstances, parenting arrangements can be documented through a Parenting Plan or legally binding Consent Orders.
If agreement can’t be reached, family mediation may be recommended before Court proceedings.
Child Custody, Parenting Plans & Consent Orders
Every family is different, and there is no one-size-fits-all parenting arrangement.
Where possible, parents are encouraged to work together to reach agreements that are in the best interests of their children. If mediation isn’t appropriate, or one parent refuses to participate, legal advice should be sought promptly, as Court intervention may sometimes be necessary.
Child Support After Separation
Child support is designed to help meet the everyday costs of raising children.
Depending on your circumstances, arrangements may include:
- Child Support assessments
- Private child support agreements
- School fees
- Medical expenses
- Extracurricular activities
Understanding your obligations early can help avoid future disputes.
Property Settlement & Financial Separation
Property settlement involves much more than simply dividing assets.
You’ll also need to consider:
- The family home
- Superannuation
- Mortgages
- Loans
- Savings
- Investments
- Future financial needs
If you’re concerned your former partner may access joint funds, speak with your bank about safeguards and consider opening a separate account in your own name.
Protect Your Privacy & Important Information
After separation, it’s a good idea to update your personal security by changing passwords and PINs for:
- Email accounts
- Online banking
- Social media
- Phones
- Computers
- Cloud storage
- Streaming services
If devices are linked through shared cloud accounts, remove access where appropriate to protect your privacy.
Update Your Will & Estate Planning
Many people don’t realise separation does not automatically update their estate planning.
Review:
- Your Will
- Power of Attorney
- Enduring Guardianship
- Superannuation Binding Death Nomination
- Life insurance beneficiaries
If you jointly own property, seek advice about whether severing a joint tenancy is appropriate.
Supporting Children Through Separation
Children often cope well with separation when they feel safe, loved and protected from conflict.
Try to:
- Keep routines as consistent as possible.
- Avoid arguing in front of the children.
- Never ask children to take sides.
- Avoid speaking negatively about the other parent.
- Let teachers or trusted adults know what’s happening so they can offer additional support if needed.
Remember, children shouldn’t become emotional support for their parents—they need reassurance that both parents will continue to love and care for them.
Look After Yourself Too
Separation is one of life’s most stressful experiences.
Make time to:
- Stay connected with family and friends.
- Exercise regularly.
- Prioritise sleep where possible.
- Speak with your GP about a Mental Health Care Plan if you’re struggling.
- Consider seeing a psychologist or counsellor for additional support.
Looking after yourself also helps you better support your children through this transition.
Keep Records Throughout The Process
Keep a diary of important events and save copies of:
- Emails
- Text messages
- Parenting schedules
- Financial documents
- Social media posts (where relevant)
These records may become valuable evidence if legal proceedings are required.
Request to Talk to a Family Lawyer at ALG
If you want an initial 15minute consult, you can make contact with ALG via email / [email protected] or call 02 42207100 / OR fill out the secure form below, your details will be kept confidential and you will be contacted by your preferred methods.
FAQ Section
What should I do first when separating with kids?
Focus on your children’s immediate stability, safety and routine. Try to agree on short-term arrangements for where the children will live, when they will see each parent, and how handovers, school and communication will work. Early legal advice can help you avoid confusion and reduce conflict from the start. The ALG Parenting team can assist you.
How do parenting arrangements work after separation?
Parenting arrangements should be based on what is in the child’s best interests. Parents can agree on arrangements themselves, record them in a parenting plan, or formalise them with consent orders. If agreement is not possible, the Court can make parenting orders. Learn more here about ALG’s process for Child Custody Matters.
Do I need a family lawyer when separating?
You do not have to hire a family lawyer, but good advice early on can make a big difference. A lawyer can explain your rights, help with negotiations and mediation, and step in if court becomes necessary. ALG Family Lawyers Wollongong assist clients with practical advice, dispute resolution and court representation when needed. From our experience, getting advice early improves the process and outcomes for those you care about most.
What is the difference between a parenting plan and consent orders?
A parenting plan is a flexible written agreement, but it is not legally enforceable. Consent orders are approved by the Court and are enforceable, orders provide more certainty where parents want clear, enforceable arrangements. The ALG Parenting team works with everyone considering their personal circumstances.
How is child support calculated in NSW?
Child support is usually assessed under a national formula, not a NSW-specific one. Services Australia looks at both parents’ incomes, the percentage of care each parent has, and the number and ages of the children. Their official estimator here is a useful starting point.
How long does a property settlement take?
There is no fixed timeframe. Some matters resolve quickly through agreement or mediation, while more complex disputes can take much longer. What is important is the legal time limit: if you were married, you generally have 12 months after your divorce becomes final to apply to the Court, and if you were in a de facto relationship, the usual limit is 2 years from separation.
How can I protect my children during separation?
Adult issues should not, and must not, be discussed in front of children. The Family Law Act actively prevents children from being exposed to conflict to ensure their health and wellbeing are not put at risk. Parents who play conflict out in front of their children, only expose them to immediate and long-term harm. Reassure them they are loved, do not criticise the other parent in front of them, and do not use them as messengers. If there are concerns about safety, family violence or risk of harm, get legal advice urgently from a trusted Wollongong family lawyer.
Do separated parents have to attend mediation?
Yes. Before applying to the Court for parenting orders, separated parents usually need to make a genuine effort at Family Dispute Resolution and obtain a section 60I certificate, unless an exception applies such as urgency, family violence, child abuse or risk of harm. Learn more here about ALG’s Court Processes for Parenting Matters.
What family law services do ALG provide in Wollongong?
ALG’s Wollongong family law team assists with all property and parenting matters.
For children this would include parenting arrangements, parenting plans, consent orders, child support issues, mediation, court proceedings, urgent parenting applications to court, recovery orders, and family violence matters. For property this means negotiation, review, documenting settlement, obtaining orders and going to court if necessary. ALG’s approach is focused on practical advice, maintaining communication and sustainable outcomes for families after separation.
